I Heart dictionary.com

***Code Red Level 10 Maximum Danger Nerd Alert***

For the first time since I started this blog, I actually have a backlog of posts queued up to be posted. To start the (relative) deluge, I present Exhibit A that I, Joshua Richard White, am a nerd. Hearing mispronounced words irks me. It’s even worse if I pronounce a word incorrectly and am called on it. Strong verbal skills are a pride of mine, so the flub indelibly etches the memory of ignorance in my brain. I still recall vividly when, at age 7 or 8, in an Olive Garden I incorrectly believed the soup “minestrone” was pronounced ‘MINE-strohn.’ Of course, the waiter and my parents found my inadvertent misstatement adorable and appropriately childlike, but I genuinely felt affronted by my own lack of knowledge. Maybe I was a strange kid. It’s as if I’ve been in a lifelong fencing match with the English language (certainly a tough opponent). Though I can never quite keep its’ épée from slipping though my defenses (seriously, who can?), each time I’m struck, I redouble my efforts to remain untouched in the future. Maybe I’m a strange adult.

So I started a new job Monday working as a (I kid you not about the title) “Customer Account Executive.” Read: Tech Support/Sales/Phone Operator. The name of my service line group is “Cavalry,” and I noticed that people in my training class repeatedly mispronounce the word as ‘cal-vary.’ See above if you wonder how much this might bother me. Come to think of it, “cavalry” gets mispronounced that way quite often. Let’s dig into the differences here, shall we? “Cavalry” refers to (classically) military troops on horseback or (modern) motorized military units organized for maximum mobility. “Calvary,” on the other hand, is known as ‘Golgotha,’ a.k.a. the place where Jesus was crucified. Also consider that the secondary definition of “calvary” is “. . . an experience or occasion of extreme suffering, esp. mental suffering.” I hope that’s not a bad omen for my line group. I highly doubt that people are mispronouncing “cavalry” as “calvary” to be funny, but I’ll just assume that they are in my head for the purposes of my own amusement.

While I was mulling over the differences between “cavalry” and “Calvary,” I was struck by the fact that the name of this very blog could be pronounced in multiple ways (ok, just two, but still . . .). I initially assumed that “cerebral” had two acceptable variants, ‘suh-ree-bruhl’ and ‘ser-uh-bruhl.’  As a self-described “word nerd,” I figure it behooves me to get it right. A quick check of dictionary.com revealed my hypothesis to be correct. Now you all know, and yes, you are welcome.

-Josh

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